Yep. Emotions up the wazoo. And I don't know how to control them, or if I even can!
Example #1: Yesterday I was driving to work and was at a four way stop. When it was my turn (or so I thought) I began to go. I was turning, and apparently the lady across from me did not agree that it was my turn so she put her peddle to the meddle and didn't even hint at stopping. I had to slam on my breaks and I threw my hands up in the air looking at her saying over and over "seriously? SERIOUSLY!?" (as if that would help somehow). And as she passed she had a little smirk on her face and was barely shaking her head from side to side. It felt like she was mocking me....oooooo and boy did that make me angry. I continued my turn after she had passed and began getting more and more worked up about how ridiculous she had been...even if I did go out of turn, was it really worth it to almost run into me!? And as quickly as my anger had arrived the tears began welling in my eyes. My thoughts turn to "why do people have to be so mean! I thought it was my turn...if I knew it was hers I would've waited...I don't want people to think I'm mean...She almost HIT me!" I was so sad and flustered at what had just happened, but I had to pull myself together because I was only about a block from work and was soon parking my car. And as I was getting out of the car I thought to myself...wow, that was a little over the top.
Example #2: I wanted to d0 something nice for my husband today. He is working all day and I decided I would bring him lunch-but because of me being already a "moody eater" (as he calls it) and now preggo on top of that AND not really knowing what I wanted I texted him to tell me what I could bring. He decided on Costco which sounded ok to me. But as I was driving there and thinking about the food my heart got set on one of their huge slices of chesse pizza. Yum. So I walked in, and of course it was packed. However, to my surprise, the food court line only had one person! SCORE! I was so excited! I was going to get my food quickly and be able to get to Jon's work faster. I walked up, ordered one polish dog (for Jonny) and a slice of cheese pizza for me! She came back and placed the pizza right under my nose...oh it looked so good! Finally, for the first time today, SOMETHING sounded good to eat! So I handed her my Costco card, and she said "sorry, we only take cash or check". Ummmmm....excuse me? But this is my card. That I had to get specifically for this place. And you're telling me I can't use it?. Seriously? Why do I even have this stupid thing! She pointed out that I could pay for it at the normal registers. So I looked behind me and saw about 20 people in each line with 2 shopping carts each (obviously a slight exaggeration, but I was cranky and didn't want to wait! The pizza was calling my name!) I also didn't want to look like a weirdo when I got up to the register after the wait and say "I would like a hotdog and pizza please....yes, that is all". So I decided just to leave. And on my way out I had a meltdown. I called my husband and felt like I had let him down (it had taken us a while to decide on Costco in the first place), and I also just wanted my cheese pizza! So I got in the car as Jon answered the phone. I told him what had happened and he said you can just get me whatever you want. That's when the flood of tears came...."but I just went inside...and they wouldn't take my card....and I don't want to go anywhere else....I just wanted cheese pizza....I wanna go home now...." (all of this barely audible to my husband who probably couldn't understand me between my sobs and tears). But he is the most wonderful husband who knows me all too well (but as well as he managed the situation I could still tell that he was thinking "all this over pizza?") He told me to just come to his work and we would figure something out. And he did, and I ate a wonderful lunch with him. When I walked in I wanted to just crack up laughing at how ridiculous I must have sounded on the phone....
So all that to say...I think I'm a little emotional lately. :)
Oh Jenn- the joys of pregnancy! I can remember feeling like that... pregnancy took away any capability I had to make a decision. I am usually fairly independent and capable, but pregnancy made me want to have Ben make every decision and tell me what to do 90% of the time. I wish I could say it got immediately better, but it doesn't. It lasts and gets worse for a good month after the baby comes... but THEN it does get better and the urge to cry non-stop goes away ;) Hang in there, it's worth every second!
ReplyDeleteOh I cry ALL the time! I accidentally bought one rotten potato the other day and I cried and texted my husband I'M NOT MAKING DINNER! I'M DONE! I think I cry at least once a day and then yes I feel fine like 10 seconds later (sometimes) other times I just cry and cry. You're not alone...also I agree that it's stupid that Costco doesn't let you pay for food with a card! So lame! And cheese pizza sounds delish too!
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